Today I was faced with a dilemma. I told my son's daycare that he is on the spectrum, awaiting official diagnosis from the paediatrician and that I would appreciate an open line of communication about his day. His group leader was great, really working with me and listening to what I had to say. She said she has been making allowances for Aiden for a while now, finding there are things he cannot and will not do and pushing them only ends in melt down. She told me she gently holds Aiden's face so he's forced to make eye contact, and has been telling off other staff for yelling at my son when doesn't listen or won't play with others.
Wait hang on, people are yelling at Aiden? For not sitting on the mat and playing with others when he's stressed? For not wanting to touch play dough? For getting over stimulated and scared so he has a meltdown? I get that it is frustrating sometimes but jesus, yelling at my 3 year old for things he can't help? The director refuses to accept that there's anything different about Aiden until a letter from the paeds is in her hand and until then (and I quote) 'we won't do special treatment'.
Aiden doesn't want anything fancy like a ferrari, he just wants help to cope with the world around him. If he was physically handicapped they'd be doing whatever was necessary in fear of me suing their asses if they didn't, but no, my son looks like every other 3 year old so he will be treated like one, despite needing assistance.
Do I keep him where he has just settled and put up with this bullshit or do I move him and make him start all over again?
Urgh they make me so mad. Well I'm off to nit comb my children's hair again as daycare will be checking their hair for eggs and if there is so much as one in any of their hair they have to all go home and I get to pay for another day of daycare they're being excluded from despite having no live nits /screams.
Wednesday 29 June 2011
Monday 27 June 2011
My beautiful boy
I am blessed. I have 5 gorgeous kids and a wonderful husband. While I only get to hold my 4 eldest children I know I'm lucky, I have no doubt. I've decided to focus on my little man today.
Aiden was born at 5.10am in Redcliffe hospital after 11 hours of labour. He was a healthy 3.4kg, 51cm long and had a 34cm round noggin. He was perfect and such a spunk. He spent a little time in SCBU with a suspected heart murmur but we left hospital 5 days later. When he was 6 weeks old we moved back to Cairns.
Aiden was an active cheeky bub and toddler but his speech has always been lacking. He gets easily frustrated at a lack of communication which turns into violence very quickly (imagine relying on others to feed, change and care for you but not be able to effectively communicate your wants and needs, you'd get slap happy too).
Aiden is obsessive about things too, the pantry must be a certain way, all the toys must be grouped together (cars with cars, dolls with dolls) and doors must be locked (and occasionally shut if the mood strikes him). He won't make eye contact with strangers, he peeks at them under his eyelashes and looks to me for reassurance for everything (which makes strangers think I'm the biggest helicopter parent ever). Aiden can't just have one biscuit, it MUST be one in each hand (and this goes for all food), he hates the texture of playdough and loves to tip over the dog food and run his hands through it over and over until it is everywhere (he can't help it, when I try and stop him you can see how distressed he gets). Aiden loves to dance and watch tv. Imaginative play doesn't exist here and he spends 90% of his day avoiding interacting with others. Aiden gets stressed trying to play with his sisters, they don't respect his silent rules (don't move things he places down, they're there for a reason, etc) and he gets in so much trouble from Ben for wrestling his sisters (in his defense Bella and Ruby start it and by god does he finish it). Aiden gets so excited he can't control himself and they get hurt. Every time.
Earlier this year I raised concerns with the Community Health officer that visited my home in anticipation for the arrival of Sophie that Aiden was having speech issues (at present Aiden has the words 'yes' 'no' 'mum' 'bye' 'go' and 'wow' all of which have appeared in the last 6 months) and they referred us to Child Development Unit. We were due for our first appointment with CDU the morning Sophie died but the hospital rescheduled it on our behalf (I can remember holding Sophie's tiny body and Ben trying to hold onto Aiden while the staff were asking us if there was anything we needed taken care of, I was crying and saying we had to go or they'd drop us from the lists, sounds crazy but it wasn't real yet that we wouldn't take her home).
We fist met them in late April where they explained once they assessed Aiden a report would be sent to a pead to mark off any diagnosis (if there was one to make) and we would go from there with regards to therapy (speech, occupational etc). Our assessment was set for late May but had to be rescheduled to today as one of the assessors was sick (they book out crazy fast so you take what you can get really).
Amy was wonderful and drove Aiden and I to CDU this morning and we met Holly and Craig, who were wonderful and Aiden seemed to really like. I was to sit in the corner on a chair not engaging Aiden just watching, unless he brought something to me and even then it was to be minimum interaction so we could really see Aiden's behaviours.
First he wandered around the room in 'free play' where he didn't touch any of the toys. Craig had to sit on the floor and show him things. The tested if Aiden responded to his name (he did), if he would look where instructed (not really) and if this jumping noisy rabbit toy would interest him (not at all). They attempted getting Aiden to ask for more (he just stood there with his arms crossed frowning at his feet until Craig played with the bubbles again) and to see if Aiden would copy how Craig played with toys (eg pretending to make a toy plane fly) and again Aiden didn't. They tried imaginative play, peekaboo, playing with balloons and much more that I can't quite remember.
Afterwards Holly informed me that based on his assessment she believed he would score in the spectrum and told me what would be available to us once a pead signed off on it all. I just got a phone call then confirming that he had indeed scored in the spectrum. We're now waiting for August to make this all official but in the meantime he's going to be doing play therapy (lucky monster got offered a place based on today they thought he would be an excellent candidate).
Here's hoping my gorgeous man gets all the help he needs.
Aiden was born at 5.10am in Redcliffe hospital after 11 hours of labour. He was a healthy 3.4kg, 51cm long and had a 34cm round noggin. He was perfect and such a spunk. He spent a little time in SCBU with a suspected heart murmur but we left hospital 5 days later. When he was 6 weeks old we moved back to Cairns.
Aiden was an active cheeky bub and toddler but his speech has always been lacking. He gets easily frustrated at a lack of communication which turns into violence very quickly (imagine relying on others to feed, change and care for you but not be able to effectively communicate your wants and needs, you'd get slap happy too).
Aiden is obsessive about things too, the pantry must be a certain way, all the toys must be grouped together (cars with cars, dolls with dolls) and doors must be locked (and occasionally shut if the mood strikes him). He won't make eye contact with strangers, he peeks at them under his eyelashes and looks to me for reassurance for everything (which makes strangers think I'm the biggest helicopter parent ever). Aiden can't just have one biscuit, it MUST be one in each hand (and this goes for all food), he hates the texture of playdough and loves to tip over the dog food and run his hands through it over and over until it is everywhere (he can't help it, when I try and stop him you can see how distressed he gets). Aiden loves to dance and watch tv. Imaginative play doesn't exist here and he spends 90% of his day avoiding interacting with others. Aiden gets stressed trying to play with his sisters, they don't respect his silent rules (don't move things he places down, they're there for a reason, etc) and he gets in so much trouble from Ben for wrestling his sisters (in his defense Bella and Ruby start it and by god does he finish it). Aiden gets so excited he can't control himself and they get hurt. Every time.
Earlier this year I raised concerns with the Community Health officer that visited my home in anticipation for the arrival of Sophie that Aiden was having speech issues (at present Aiden has the words 'yes' 'no' 'mum' 'bye' 'go' and 'wow' all of which have appeared in the last 6 months) and they referred us to Child Development Unit. We were due for our first appointment with CDU the morning Sophie died but the hospital rescheduled it on our behalf (I can remember holding Sophie's tiny body and Ben trying to hold onto Aiden while the staff were asking us if there was anything we needed taken care of, I was crying and saying we had to go or they'd drop us from the lists, sounds crazy but it wasn't real yet that we wouldn't take her home).
We fist met them in late April where they explained once they assessed Aiden a report would be sent to a pead to mark off any diagnosis (if there was one to make) and we would go from there with regards to therapy (speech, occupational etc). Our assessment was set for late May but had to be rescheduled to today as one of the assessors was sick (they book out crazy fast so you take what you can get really).
Amy was wonderful and drove Aiden and I to CDU this morning and we met Holly and Craig, who were wonderful and Aiden seemed to really like. I was to sit in the corner on a chair not engaging Aiden just watching, unless he brought something to me and even then it was to be minimum interaction so we could really see Aiden's behaviours.
First he wandered around the room in 'free play' where he didn't touch any of the toys. Craig had to sit on the floor and show him things. The tested if Aiden responded to his name (he did), if he would look where instructed (not really) and if this jumping noisy rabbit toy would interest him (not at all). They attempted getting Aiden to ask for more (he just stood there with his arms crossed frowning at his feet until Craig played with the bubbles again) and to see if Aiden would copy how Craig played with toys (eg pretending to make a toy plane fly) and again Aiden didn't. They tried imaginative play, peekaboo, playing with balloons and much more that I can't quite remember.
Afterwards Holly informed me that based on his assessment she believed he would score in the spectrum and told me what would be available to us once a pead signed off on it all. I just got a phone call then confirming that he had indeed scored in the spectrum. We're now waiting for August to make this all official but in the meantime he's going to be doing play therapy (lucky monster got offered a place based on today they thought he would be an excellent candidate).
Here's hoping my gorgeous man gets all the help he needs.
Sunday 26 June 2011
So I've been really lax with this blogging thing but in my defense I've been busy and then my darling children decided my keyboard and mouse were destined to die. No hope of blogging without those.
Today has been a very boring day of cleaning and childrearing, with a job interview thrown in the mix. I think I went well and hopefully I find out this week. Ben and I are both looking for work. Ben wants something full time and I'm after part time or casual work, I still want to be there for the kids as primary care giver. So lately it's been chaos with Red Nose Day (Amy and I are still yet to do the final tally), writing resumés and arguing with our real estate over a second house inspection in a month for no reason (well they won't give me one). So this week amongst Aiden's assessment, replacing our van's water pump and sorting out the last of RND, I have to scrub my house (apparently it must be immaculate and the gardens professionally done HA!).
Tonight I think I shall fold laundry while watching NCIS and maybe an early night. Tomorrow is Aiden's assessment and Ben has to replace the water pump so we will be flat out. I'll try and update tomorrow when we get home when everything is fresh in my mind.
Night
Today has been a very boring day of cleaning and childrearing, with a job interview thrown in the mix. I think I went well and hopefully I find out this week. Ben and I are both looking for work. Ben wants something full time and I'm after part time or casual work, I still want to be there for the kids as primary care giver. So lately it's been chaos with Red Nose Day (Amy and I are still yet to do the final tally), writing resumés and arguing with our real estate over a second house inspection in a month for no reason (well they won't give me one). So this week amongst Aiden's assessment, replacing our van's water pump and sorting out the last of RND, I have to scrub my house (apparently it must be immaculate and the gardens professionally done HA!).
Tonight I think I shall fold laundry while watching NCIS and maybe an early night. Tomorrow is Aiden's assessment and Ben has to replace the water pump so we will be flat out. I'll try and update tomorrow when we get home when everything is fresh in my mind.
Night
Tuesday 21 June 2011
Sorry guys, it's very busy in the Ronlund household at the moment. Red Nose Day is coming up and Amy and I are working our butts off organizing where kids will be, counting stock, readying displays and most importantly what stunning red item of clothing to wear. We are at Cairns Central 9am -5pm Thursday and Friday selling RND merchandise and then on Saturday were at Give Me 5 For Kids Day. I'm so excited to be out there supporting a cause I'm so passionate about. It's silly but I won't ever get birthdays or christmas so this time of year I can celebrate Sophie and talk about her and do something in her honour to hopefully help others.
Hopefully Monday I have a spectacular amount raised to report :)
Hopefully Monday I have a spectacular amount raised to report :)
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